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Ben Ehrlich provides his terrible opinions about all things technical.


Blurst of Times

Mr. Burns from The Simpsons standing in front of monkeys typing at typewriters.

This is a very dumb little thing I threw together in a few minutes. This is a digital version of a “thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters” eventually re-creating the entire works of Shakespeare. In this case, it’s one monkey and the typewriter will only let him type the correct next letter, so he can jam on the keyboard all over the place, but only the correct letter will be added to the sequence when he hits it. I figured that would make it a little easier for the little guy. No monkeys were harmed during the creation of this JavaScript.

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Teatime Samurai Remaster: Final Days

We’re in the final final stretch here! Six days remain! Final music is in, sound effects are in, art is all (alright, nearly all) final. Game is tested to as much satisfaction as I can test it to not in the wild. Steam has approved the build which means we’re good to pull the trigger when the time comes.

The game launch date coincides with when the computer camp I used to work for is running, so I’m planning on going down there and running some kind of event. Probably a night-of-launch tournament with TTS related prizes. Maybe some stickers, a poster, something like that. Definitely game keys for winners and runners up.

We’ve accomplished some cool stuff! There’s a handful of new enemies in there, a lot of improvements to old enemies, a new game mode, polished bosses, improved lighting and effects, and, most importantly of all, of course: grass. Honestly, nothing has done as much to make Teatime Samurai feel like a real game as adding dynamic grass. Also, music, which my brother earnestly said, “hey, the music is good.” There could be no higher praise. Maybe I’ll release the soundtrack or something. Send £2 in the mail and I’ll send you a CD*.

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Teatime Samurai: First Builds Going Out!

I wish I had more time to create longer/better blog posts about development of the Teatime Samurai re-release, but I wish I had more time for a lot of things. I’m remembering now what an insane thing releasing a game as an indie developer is. I have so many balls in the air right now it’s mind boggling.

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“Why is there a steam shovel in Teatime Samurai?”

As I come back to remaster my great endeavor of 2015, Teatime Samurai, I come face to face with the bizarre decisions I made, decisions I have to assume I made out of exhausted delirium, because, if not for exhausted delirium I have no excuse for why there is a boss that is a Japanese speaking steam shovel that deploys smaller versions of itself.

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A Deep and Meaningful Interaction With a Computer Parts Vendor

Support: ACME Computers how may I help you?

Me: Hi I’m calling about an order I placed last week. It hasn’t been shipped and I’ve gotten radio silence from customer support over email.

Support: What’s the order number?

Me: [Order Number]

Support: [Order Number]???

Me: …Yes?

Support: Okay please hold.

[Long annoying vibro-synth hold music break later]

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